Baby Boy Kench

Gayle writes:

My husband and I need help choosing a name for our first son. We already have two little girls, Avis Abigale and Melody Alice Elvira. (Melody has two middle names just for fun.. no specific reason.) That really is sort of our naming style – we find a name we like and we use it. All the in depth stuff, like meanings, or initials, or family approval, or naming after a family member, etc, isn’t that important to us.

We want our sons name to be as distinct as the names Avis and Melody. For example, Avis, Melody, and Jayden/Cayden/Grayden/Hayden is not the kind of name we’re looking for. We really like more turn of the century names, but not names like Henry or William. More outlandish names like Cornelius or Augustus (although we’ve vetoed both of those.)

Here are some names we’ve considered, to give you an idea of the names we’re looking at:
Cornelius, Augustus, Benedict, Clement, Barnabas, Eustace, Florian, and Percival.

As you can see, these names are pretty ‘out there.’ We feel like they really aren’t names you can wear in the 21st century without getting made fun of. They sound like characters.

So we’re looking for names similar in style to these, that go with our daughters names, but that could work for a little boy in the 21st century, not just the 19th. Also, we’d really like his middle name to start with an A, because my husband and I both have middle names that start with an A, and completely by accident, so do our daughters. So we liked that unexpected connection and want to continue it.

Oh, and our last name is one syllable and rhymes with Kench, so longer first names would go better with that, I think.

I think you could use Augustus pretty comfortably, especially if he went by the nickname Gus. Avis, Melody, and Augustus seems good to me. If it seems like too much, maybe August? Avis, Melody, and August.

Cornelius makes me think of Corbin and Cormac. Benedict makes me think of Bennett. Eustace makes me think of Edmund and Euan/Ewan. Florian makes me think of Finian and Julian.

But some of the names I'm reminded of are a big style change from the originals. In STYLE, I'm reminded more of names such as Julius, Rufus, Felix, Hugo, Jasper, Lucius, Phineas.

Well, here's the list all together:

Aidric; Avis, Melody, and Aidric
Angus; Avis, Melody, and Angus
August; Avis, Melody, and August
Bennett; Avis, Melody, and Bennett
Corbin; Avis, Melody, and Corbin
Cormac; Avis, Melody, and Cormac
Edmund; Avis, Melody, and Edmund
Ewan; Avis, Melody, and Ewan
Felix; Avis, Melody, and Felix
Finian; Avis, Melody, and Finian
Hugo; Avis, Melody, and Hugo
Jasper; Avis, Melody, and Jasper
Julian; Avis, Melody, and Julian
Julius; Avis, Melody, and Julius
Linus; Avis, Melody, and Linus
Lucius; Avis, Melody, and Lucius
Phineas; Avis, Melody, and Phineas
Rufus; Avis, Melody, and Rufus
Sebastian; Avis, Melody, and Sebastian
Silas; Avis, Melody, and Silas

I think my favorites are Aidric, Edmund, Felix, Hugo, and Jasper. With some A middle names:

Aidric Alistair Kench
Edmund Ambrose Kench
Felix Arlo Kench
Hugo Augustus Kench
Jasper Atticus Kench

Name Updates!

Update on Baby Naming Issue: Allegra!
Update on Baby Twin Girls Armstrong!

And if your question is up and doesn't have an update, send an update! Oh we are so interested to hear!

Baby Naming Issue: Someone Just Used the Baby Name You Had in Mind

Delia writes:

I have a question that I am sure you have come across many times before, but I would like to hear your thoughts / your readers thoughts on it. It has to do with naming a child with the same name as one used in your social circle (or close to it). DH & I have been together for 5 years and recently decided to start trying for a baby. In our 1st year together we talked about kids and we decided back then already that if we have a son, we would call him Ethan - we both love the name, it sound good with our surname and it just felt (and still does feel) 'right'. Fast forward to the present and we found out today that some colleagues/ friends that had a baby boy last week have named him Ethan. Now, sure, it's not like we had a claim staked on the name and we didn't advertise the fact that we had chosen that particular name, but it feels like if we were to now name our child the same it would be kind of odd, even be seen to be 'copying' them. That being said, we are not as close with this couple or other friends of theirs that we also used to socialize with as we once were and speak to or hang out with them outside of work (we all work at the same company). I am of the opinion that if we aren't that close then it shouldn't matter, but DH feels the name should be up for review. Should we just abandon the idea of using Ethan and go back to the drawing board, or should we stick with it even if their is a bit of the weirdness factor thrown in?

In your case, I'd say it's pretty clear you can go right ahead and use the name. Ethan is a fairly common name, and at the very earliest the boys will be nearly a year apart, so I don't think anyone will make a connection as they might if the name in question were Edgar. If you feel a little awk, you can spread The Story of His Name: every time you tell what his name is, you can say that when you and your husband were in your first year of marriage, before you even knew when you would have a baby, you decided on Ethan as your boy name. Tell this story with stars in your eyes, and everything's fine: you've made it clear that your choice has nothing to do with anyone else's choice.

Any tips from the rest of you? Have you been in this situation, and what did you do?

Baby Girl Kempt

Nathasa writes:

I’m writing you for baby advice! I’m due on November 26th (Thanksgiving baby!) with my third child and second daughter. My husband and I have two other children; Joanna Aisbet and Henry Fraser. We pretty much had our list of names narrowed down about four months ago, to either Catherine, Caroline, Rebecca, Grace, or Alice. But about a month ago I suddenly discovered Gaelic names, and I’m in love with them.

So now my number one choice is Niamh (pronounced “Neeve”), with Siobhan (“Shuh-von”) and Aoife (“Eef-uh”) close behind. My husband loves the name Niamh and is totally for it. So here are my issues.

First of all, neither my husband nor I have a drop of Irish blood in us. Is that totally weird to use an Irish name? My family certainly thinks so. Both of our mothers are campaigning for one of the original five, and neither my mother nor my mother in law, (or any of my other family for that matter) likes Niamh whatsoever. Both of our parents are very involved in our childrens lives, so this is a factor for me.

Secondly, of course, we live in Maryland, not Dublin. I know that if we choose Niamh, she will have to constantly be spelling and pronouncing her name for people. I had to do that all my life (My name is Nathasa, with no “h” after the “s”, and the first “h” silent), and it wasn’t much fun.

Third, I don’t know if it really works with Joanna and Henry. When I say it out loud, it sounds nice. “Joe-ann-uh, Hen-ree, and Neev”. But that’s just me. I really don’t know if it does. Also, our last name is one syllable: Kempt (Kem-t). It sounds fine with two syllabled Joanna and Henry, but I don’t know if it really flows with one syllabled Niamh.

It seems like there are way more strikes against Niamh than for it, and we should just go back to the other finalists we’d originally picked, but we keep coming back to Niamh. We both love it, and none of the other names seems just right.

But I’m worried, with so many things not going for the name. What do you think? I’d love people’s insight – I’m really stressing.

And if not Niamh, then any other suggestions? Also, we haven’t even begun to think of a middle name, and off the top of my head, nothing sounds good with Niamh (another strike, UGH!). We don’t want it to be an Irish name, but no American names really work, that I can think of.

Please help!

Thank you so, so much.

I think that if you both love Niamh, and if you keep coming back to it despite being aware of the various issues, and if no other name seems right, that you should use it. And definitely it seems as if your parents shouldn't make a peep after using the name Nathasa in their own baby-naming days.

Would you like the name as much if it were spelled differently? Because you could spell it Neeve or Nieve or Neve and take that issue off your list. It's common for a name from one country to be spelled or pronounced differently when used in another country: we say Wilhelmina with a W sound even though in German it's a V sound; the name Kieran is Irish, but in Ireland it's Ciarán; and we use Owen instead of Eoghan. It's a matter of translating a name from one alphabet/language to another, so that it can be spelled and pronounced.

If you do use it, several of your other options would make nice middle names: Neeve Caroline Kempt, Nieve Rebecca Kempt, Neve Catherine Kempt.

Another option is to use Niamh as the middle name, eliminating pretty much ALL the problems---well, except the one where you like the name Niamh better than all the other options. I like it best with Rebecca: Rebecca Niamh Kempt. It's good with Caroline and Catherine, too, except that the N sounds blur together a little---not a dealbreaker, I wouldn't think, considering how infrequently it would cause a problem.

What does everyone else think? Use Niamh or not? Spell it the Irish way or the English way? First name or middle name, and what combination?

Baby Twin Girls Armstrong

Amy writes:

We are Andy and Amy Armstrong and we are expecting twin girls on November 17th.
We have two children - my oldest from a prior marriage:
Chase Larkin 14 yr old son and together Larkin Murphy 4 yr daughter

We don't want any name that begins with A

My great-grandfather's name was Larkin Timothy Murphy hence the family name I used as my children have different last names which I didn't like - so they share my family name.

My grandmother was Violet Murphy and my father in law is Dan. We have quite a list going and I am trying to narrow things down prior to birth and would like input that is positive vs the debate friends and family can start.

My mothers maiden name was McBrayer but any form of that is better for a boy than girl I think?

So the list in no particular order is:

• Violet
• Dani
• Murphy (I keep hearing this is a dog name which irritates me but I think middle name for this)
• Harper
• Carson (name we had in mind when Larkin was born but waited until we saw her to name her)
• Camryn (same as above)
• Lily
• Marley (again with the dog comments)
• Keely
• Kylie
• Zoe
• Lauren
• Rory
• Finley
  

The Irish theme is strong obviously but I am open to suggestions. I don't want the girls to have sing/song names as they are individuals.

Oh fun! Okay, I'm going to start making some pairs:

Harper and Keely
Harper and Kylie
Camryn and Marley
Carsyn and Marley
Harper and Marley
Harper and Lily
Harper and Rory
Harper and Finley
Rory and Finley
Harper and Camryn
Kylie and Zoe
Keely and Zoe
Lily and Lauren
Lauren and Camryn
Keely and Marley
Zoe and Lauren
Camryn and Zoe
Rory and Zoe
Finley and Kylie

Well! That's not very helpful, is it! No wonder you're having trouble narrowing it down!

I changed the spelling of Carson to Carsyn to make it go with Marley, but I didn't do much more of that in case you hate that spelling. I think otherwise Carson makes it look like boy-girl twins, or makes it appear that there is an expectation that one girl will be tomboyish and the other girly, as in twin-based sitcoms.

I think Harper goes with a LOT of the names on the list.

I wondered if Lily/Lauren and Lauren/Camryn and Keely/Marley and Finley/Kylie would be too matchy for you because of similar sounds, but put them on the list anyway because to me they're just the right amount of matchy to please people who like twin names to coordinate, without sounding like sugar-and-spice.

I think Murphy and McBrayer would make an excellent pair of middle names. Harper Murphy and Keely McBrayer. Lily Murphy and Lauren McBrayer. Rory Murphy and Finley McBrayer. And so on.

I'm reluctant to add any MORE names to the mix, since you have so many good ones already and since with twins there is a huge increase in number of combinations for each added name. But for father-in-law namesakes, I wanted to add Dania, Daniella, and Danica. Violet and Daniella is a nice pair, and Danica goes with a lot of the names on the list: Danica and Camryn, Danica and Harper, Danica and Zoe, Danica and Marley, etc.

Everyone, please say your favorite combinations and let's see if we can narrow it down a little. I think my favorites are Rory and Finley, Harper and Keely, and Harper and Marley---but gosh, I don't know, every time I look at the list I change my mind.

Name update 11-18-2009!

Amy and Andy are proud to announce their two beautiful baby girls born Tuesday, November 17

Brin Murphy Armstrong
born 12:07 pm
6 pounds 12 ounces

Erin McBrayer Armstrong
born 12:08 pm
5 pounds 3 ounces

Everyone is doing great!

Baby Girl or Boy Stark

Sara writes:

I am due December 3rd. We have chosen not to find out the gender ahead of time. Our 2-year-old son is Jonah Daniel, a name that we quickly agreed upon and never had a list of runner-up names. Our girl name (which we still like from last time) is Nora Josephine. We just liked Nora, and Josephine was my husband’s mother’s middle name. I like the family connection there.

I worry that I may have too many ‘rules’ – even though I can’t really figure out which ones I’d give up. My sister thought it was kind of a fun ‘word puzzle’, but I think even she has tired of it. So here it goes.

1) Our last name is an actual word, close to ‘Stark’, so let’s pretend that’s it. I’m Sara and my husband is Sean, so that’s a lot of S’s already. I’m not at all interested in any other names starting with an ‘S’. Also, if it ends with an ‘s’, it runs into the last name and sounds bad. So that knocks out a ton of good names.

2) Nothing with an ‘-ar-‘ in it because it sounds weird with the last name. Also shows up in lots of names.

3) Because our last name is short and kind of abrupt, I want at least a 2-syllable first name.

4) I also prefer names that don’t have obvious, kind of automatic nicknames, so no Benjamin, Alexander, Nicholas, etc. Although I know people can get nicknames for tons of reasons, I like the name to just be the name.

5) Not another J name.

6) I want a boy name that does not appear to be getting taken over by girls.

7) Not a name that is also an actual word. Since our last name is a word, that would be odd.

8) No ‘–son’ names.

9) Nothing totally unfamiliar or spelled ‘creatively’.

10) We’re not religious, and when Jonah is paired with some more biblically-associated names, it makes it seem like we are. Those types of names tend to be more the style I like, but it seems uncomfortable like we’re trying to pass ourselves off as something we’re not.

11) My husband and I have both been teachers for a combined 15 years or so, so a lot of names get vetoed just because of the strong associations. I can never have a Tyler, Dylan, Brandon, Levi, Dustin, Ben, Evan……..

I’ve looked at so many names and lists and haven’t had anything that jumps out at me. It makes me a little sad to think that I’ve probably already seen the name we’ll end up choosing and that we were just like “Eh… that’s ok... I guess.”

So… help??

We are totally open to new suggestions! Names that we maybe kind of like include:

Aaron -probably our top option right now, but I wonder if people’s pronunciations will bother me, saying it more (to my ears) like Erin, a girl name

Adrian - another name I think I like better on paper than when I say it out loud

Julian - even though it’s a J

Isaac

I’ve thought maybe Leo, Milo, Nolan, Ezra, but Sean doesn’t really like them. He likes Owen, but me, not so much. He’s also said he likes names that sound ‘smart’, for what that’s worth. Neither of us are into the ‘tough’ sounding boy names.

And then (as if this hasn’t been long enough – feel free to disregard if it has), I really like the idea of middle names as a family name spot, and my dad comes to mind as one to name after. His first name is also my brother’s name, so I kind of feel like that’s ‘his’ to use in the future if he wants. But my dad’s (and his dad’s) middle name is Orville. Yikes. I go back and forth thinking “My dad’s a good guy, and lots of people have crazy middle names.” and “How can I slap an Orville on a baby?” Thoughts on that from you or your readers?

Thank you so much for ANY help, guidance, and suggestions!!

Let's start with the Orville question, because that has grabbed my imagination. Have you already talked to your brother about the first name that belongs to him and to your dad? He might not care one whit if you use it as a middle name, even if he has the full intention of using it for a future child himself, and maybe he will even be flattered that you want to use it, especially if you spin it to include him in the namesakeness. That would solve the Orville issue in one swoop, and that would be nice because otherwise I am conflicted. I agree with you exactly: on one hand, lots of people have unusual middle names; on the other hand, Orville.

The very first name that occurs to me for the first-name slot is out: Simon. It sounds smart to me, and I like it with both Jonah and a potential future Nora. You were very clear on NO S NAMES so I shouldn't even be mentioning it---but here I am, mentioning it anyway. Cheeky!

The second name that occurs to me is ALSO out: Karl. It has the "ar" sound but otherwise would qualify, and I think the repeating "ar" is good here. I would like to take a moment to highlight the name Karl, in fact, because it is SO UNDERUSED. I was out and about and heard a mother talking to her adorable, pumpkin-sweater-wearing, rosy-cheeks-having, 1-year-old boy and calling him Karl, and I thought "!!!" It's great. Timeless! Smart! Girls are not stealing it! ALMOST NO ONE IS USING IT. It's one of the few names I thought of where I didn't think, "Oh, but they've probably had a bunch of students with that name already. Karl! Consider Karl!


Some QUALIFYING possibilities:

Caleb Stark; Jonah and Caleb
Elliot Stark; Jonah and Elliot
Emmett Stark; Jonah and Emmett
Ethan Stark; Jonah and Ethan
Henry Stark; Jonah and Henry
Ian Stark; Jonah and Ian
Malcolm Stark; Jonah and Malcolm

I also had Everett and Oliver in the list originally, but are those too much like an "ar" sound? Anyway, I like them both: Everett Stark, Oliver Stark.

Baby Girl or Boy, Sibling to William and Clara

Rachel writes:

I love your baby name blog and can't wait to write you for myself someday, but for now I'm writing for my sister (with her blessing). She and her husband are expecting their third baby (gender unknown) at the beginning of December--the 4th to be specific.

They've got a son, William Charles (age 3.5 years), who is named after two family members, and a daughter, Clara Grace (not quite 2), whose first name is a family name and whose middle name was chosen for the religious significance.

If I get another niece, my sister wants to name her Anna (which is a family name) and my BIL wants to name her Hannah. Both of them love their own choice and strongly dislike the other's choice, which makes everyone want to pull their hair out since the names are SO similar. Any third suggestion to pull them away from the Anna/Hannah debate? My suggestions of Ava, Lydia, and Lila were rejected. They like Elizabeth and Eleanor for a middle name, but my sister doesn't think Eleanor goes well with Anna or Hannah. (And they don't want to move either of those family names to the first name slot.)

If I get another nephew, they both like Elijah for the Biblical character, but my sister doesn't think it goes with the sibset. They're thinking of Patrick for a middle name, which my sister doesn't like well enough for a first name but wants to use in the middle name slot to honor a family member.

Their last name, which my sister does not want included in the post, is four syllables with the emphasis on the second syllable.

Thanks, Swistle!

I love the Anna/Hannah debate! Let's see if we can find some other possibilities to consider:

Eliza
Ella
Emma
Lucy
Helen
Minna
Molly
Nora
Rose
Ruth

My favorites are:
Eliza Eleanor (William, Clara, and Eliza)
Lucy Eleanor (William, Clara, and Lucy)
Molly Elizabeth (William, Clara, and Molly)
Rose Elizabeth (William, Clara, and Rose)

I think Elijah is coming mainstream enough to go with William and Clara, especially if he goes by Eli. It's not quite the same style, but it's not a jarring clash. If they continue to be unsure of it, perhaps they could use it in the middle name slot. Some other first-name possibilities to consider:

Daniel
Elias
Elliot
Emmett
Everett
Isaac
Jonathan
Josiah
Nathaniel
Owen
Samuel
Silas
Simon
Saul

My favorites are:
Daniel Patrick (William, Clara, and Daniel)
Nathaniel Patrick (William, Clara, and Nathaniel)
Samuel Patrick (William, Clara, and Samuel)