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Thursday, July 30, 2009

Baby Naming Issue: One Cousin's Middle Name as Another Cousin's First Name

Beth writes:
My brother and SIL are expecting their second girl in October. Their current daughter is named Payton Marie. Girl #2 is going to be Something Elizabeth. (How sweet, yes, to give her my name?) My brother keeps saying to my SIL "Hey, what about Morgan? I really like Morgan. Why aren't we considering Morgan?" And my SIL keeps replying, "Because, numbnuts, Morgan is your niece's middle name." (Tis true, of course, Amelia Morgan.) Now, Chris and I have told them we don't mind, and Mia would be over the moon with bliss if they named the baby Morgan. What do you think about two first cousins, out of a grand total of four, sharing a first/middle name?

I think it's (1) totally fine, (2) totally non-confusing, and (3) adorable.

What does everyone else think? Okay to have a Morgan Elizabeth and an Amelia Morgan as cousins? Let's have a poll over to the right. [Poll closed; see results below.]


Poll results (217 votes total):
Yes: 210 votes, roughly 97%
No: 7 votes, roughly 3%

20 comments:

Jan said...

I agree that it's fine if all parties involved are fine but it sounds like even if you and DH are fine, SIL might want something different. Maybe she's just using the reason as an excuse because she wants a different fn for Something Elizabeth?

Baby Namer said...

I would still use it ! I mean Mia doesn't go by her middle name often so it wouldn't be confusing at all. If they are okay with it then I would use it.

Jen said...

I do agree that it is fine. But I get the feeling the SIL really just wants to pick her "own" name. Because while she may even really like Morgan, it has already been "taken."

We have cousins whom we see maybe once or twice per year that have children whose names my DH and I both liked but they were off limits to me (and DH agreed).

Also, my step brother (whom we see maybe once every five years) used my son's name as their new baby's middle name and I have to admit, it bothered me at first.

Karen said...

100% fine.

I agree with Jan and Jen though, maybe SIL doesn't love it or just "feels" it's taken, which means that she doesn't love it and probably never will. Just accept the compliment that they like your taste in names.

I'd let it drop if you've already given the green light once or twice. Too many green lights and SIL may feel pressure to defend herself, which isn't nice when there's truly nothing to defend.

The Schwant Family said...

absolutely fine! not an issue at all in my opinion.

Anonymous said...

My Grandad was David Leslie, my dad is Roger Leslie, and my first name is Leslie. My cousin (paternal) is expecting his second girl and they wanted to name her after our grandad who very recently passed away and to whom my cousin was extremely close. They sort of casually brought up giving her the middle name Leslie but said that his mom/my aunt said that they needed to ask me - maybe I wanted to use it. I told them to go for it.

Soleil said...

Totally fine. My aunt took her own middle name (Kay) as well as the middle names of her two sisters (Lynne and Ann) and created her second daughter's name, Kaylynn Ann. I think it's cute to recycle names in different ways.

Catherine said...

I'm Catherine Elizabeth and my sister is Elizabeth Claire. It's never been an issue, actually it's kind of nice. (My parents didn't want to risk not using Elizabeth if they didn't have another girl.)

Carmen said...

Totally fine. Most people will never know Mia's middle name, so there is zero chance for confusion.

Anonymous said...

I have a similar problem. My DH and I wanted to use either Alexis or Marie as a middle name. Alexis honoring my brother, and Marie because its my MN, my mother's, my Gmother's etc. BUT. My cousin named her baby Alexis Marie.And my SIL named her baby Annabelle Marie. And I'm like .. AHHHH. SO yeah. Not sure what we're going to do about that yet.

Kate said...

It's going to happen a lot because families are:
a) somewhat likely to go for similar styles; and
b) have similar people they want to honour.

If Grandkid 1 gets in and takes all the family names for their kids, Grandkids 2-10 (including #1's siblings) can definitely use them as middles.

licialee said...

I just have to mention that I was reading some swistle name archives... and.. it hurts me to get to the end of a post and NOT KNOW!! How can you not tell us? LOL. Dunno if I'm crazy... but I love to know what people pick. Sigh.

Frazzled Mom said...

While I don't see a problem with cousins named Amelia Morgan and Morgan Elizabeth, I have a feeling the SIL just doesn’t like Morgan and is trying to be tactful. Now if the SIL was the one writing Swistle, wanting to use Morgan but concerned it might seem weird, as long as it's ok with the brother's family, I say - use it! But Beth's SIL isn't the one writing here and we have no idea what kind of names SHE likes. This decision rests with the brother and SIL and no one else.

Dr. Maureen said...

Definitely fine. Heck, my SISTER'S middle name is my first name. There was never any confusion, and I always thought it was fun.

tracynicole22 said...

I agree with Frazzled Mom, maybe the SIL just doesn't want to use Morgan, it's not her taste or she just doesn't like it, but she just can't come out and say that. They are already using Elizabeth, there are SO MANY other names out there, maybe she just wants a name of her own.

So, I do think it is okay to use Morgan as far as etiquette goes, I just get the feeling that she doesn't want to use it but doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

hope said...

I agree it shouldn't be an issue but that maybe your SIL just doesn't want to use it and either wants an excuse or wants to pick her own name.

My niece's middle name is Rose (which is my grandmother's name), but I haven't totally ruled it out as a possible first name (or a variation of Rose) or middle name for my own daughter.

Caitlin said...

I think it's perfectly fine. My cousin is Jacob Jeremy and my nephew is Jeremy Joseph. I've honestly never really thought about it as anything but, oh cute, they share a name.

Sparkling Cipher said...

I think it's sweet. My daughter's middle name is the same as one cousin's middle name. It's a special bond between them.

Steph the WonderWorrier said...

It'd definitely be fine as long as all the family members involved agree that it's fine. In our family our middle names are always family names, so a bunch of my cousins (including myself with my cousin Melanie) have overlapping middle names... and it's never mattered. And one of my cousins is a first name "James" (but he goes by Jimmy), and my brother is a middle name "James" and I've never even really thought about how they are the same because you don't really use middle names that often.

So, it's definitely not a big deal.

BUT... I see what some folks are saying. Maybe SIL just doesn't want to use it? Which would be totally fine. She might like to give her daughter a first name that she and her husband came up with as a team, rather than a name that a different family member already decided on.

Chaya said...

My aunt and uncle did this, and it's never really thought of, because no one really dwells on someone's middle name. Actually, they did it twice, and not on purpose. They named their first daughter Something Vered, and Vered is my sister's first name, and they are naming their second daughter, who still has a few months to go before she is born, Something Scott, while my dad's first name is Scott.
While I will admit it occurred to me that they were a bit unoriginal, it's not really a big deal