Hi! My name is Brooke and my husband is Brian. Our last name is similar to Peterson.
We are still in the preliminary baby-growing and baby-naming stages (16 weeks) and have not yet found out if our baby-to-be is a girl or boy.
If it is a girl, my top name choice is Ivy.
Brian has agreed to this name, but he wants it to be spelled Ivee. He knows someone named Ivee and does not know anyone with the name Ivy.
I love Ivy, but I pretty much loath Ivee. He feels the opposite. He thinks it would be weird to name a little girl after a plant. I feel like it would be even weirder to give her a made up name...or at least a made up spelling for a name.
We have a short list of other names that we can agree on - Nora, Sarah, Eden, Eve, etc. - so it is not like Ivy/Ivee is our only choice.
But, since it is my favorite and he has actually (amazingly!) agreed to it, I don't know if I should settle for a spelling I dislike or just give up on my sweet Ivy and go with another name.
Or...maybe it will be a boy and we can wait to worry about this issue until another pregnancy.
Should I settle for Ivee? Should we move on and keep looking at other names?
Thanks so much!
I'd start by seeing if you can find out if your husband's mind can be changed on the issue of whether or not it's weird to use a plant name. Ivy, Rose, Violet, Lily, Willow, Daisy, Heather, Holly, Iris, Jasmine---these are all plant names that people use as-is, without having to alter the spellings. We do the same with many other noun names: Hope, Grace, Autumn, May, River, Ruby, Faith. I would first see if your husband feels the same way about the spelling of these other names, or if it's just that he's not used to Ivy as a name. It isn't that we never change the spellings of noun names ("Brooke" is a convenient example; Lilly and Saige and Skye also come to mind), but Ivy is in the category of names we as a culture don't consider weird to leave as it is.
Your husband knows an Ivee, which certainly influences his feelings. The Social Security Administration may be of assistance here: in 2010, there were 1,073 baby girls named Ivy, and 13 named Ivee. Another 61 were named Ivey; another 33 were named Ivie. The spelling Ivy is clearly the main spelling. This is not to say that the main spelling must be honored; it is only another suggested argument against his feeling that Ivee is a more natural spelling of the name.
Because I so strongly side with you about spelling it Ivy, I'm reluctant to even mention these possible compromise spellings: Ivie, Ivey.
Name update! Brooke writes:
I followed one commenter's advice and left the name conversation alone until we learned the sex of our little one.
We learned that we were having a boy, so the Ivy/Ivee conversation has been tabled. I am sure it will come up again if/when a future pregnancy brings us a girl, but for now, I have just left it alone.
My long list of potential boy names was largely vetoed and we didn't make a final decision until we met our little man, but we are so happy with our choice. His name is Samuel Birger (BRR-jer). Birger is my dad's first name and I love that Sam has this connection with his Pops.
Many thanks to you and your readers for all of the comments and consideration