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Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Baby Boy Cross, Brother to Mason and Merissa; Husband Wants Either a Junior or Another M Name

H. writes:
My due date is April 7th & I have a major issue with my husband wanting a Jr.  This is the 1st time I ever found out what we were having before they were born.  We are having a boy.
I have 2 children Mason Lee & Merissa Julia.  My husband wants Jeffrey Jason Cross Jr. or Jeffrey Ralph Cross Jr. or an "M" name.  I will never agree to either one of the Jeffrey's.  We already have a son, I don't like the idea of Jr.'s & most importantly I don't like the name Jeffrey at all!  He is the Jeffrey Jason & his Dad is Jeffrey Ralph.  Ralph is his grandfathers name.  If you could pick any boy "M" name, what would you choose?  I want to knock his socks of with an "M" name!  I loved when you chose Declan.  I did bring that name up, but of course my husband shot that down because it wasn't Jeffrey or an "M".  If it is any help me kids picked Toby & they actually agreed on it??!!  They don't agree on anything.  Of course my husband turned that down as well.

Thank you for your time

If you don't like the idea of a junior and you don't like the name Jeffrey, then that name is off the table. This does not mean that now you need to scramble to find something your husband likes better than Jeffrey. Instead it means that you and your husband now both need to work to find the name the two of you like best from the remaining candidates. Perhaps if it's very important to your husband, you might agree to use Jeffrey, Jason, or Ralph as a middle name.

(As an aside, a junior is given the same entire name as his father. So if you were going to have a junior, the child's name would be Jeffrey Jason Cross Jr. If your husband wanted instead to name his son after his father, the child's name could be Jeffrey Ralph Cross II.)

Do you agree to using an M name? If you don't, that too is off the table (or rather, is still on the table as an issue the two of you would need to decide on before you can go on to choose the name). I feel as if we've had a run recently on "one parent absolutely insisting on something the other parent doesn't want," and it's making me cranky. The decision is up to both parents, and both parents are responsible for finding the agreed-upon name. One parent may willingly choose to go along with the other parent's preference---but it isn't right or fair for one parent to make a declaration and insist the other parent submit to that declaration. If you are willing to use an M name, then we can find a good M name. If you would prefer to break the M streak, then that is fine too, and you and your husband would then both turn to the task of finding the name the two of you liked best from the entire pool of non-Jeffrey, non-M names.

If you like Declan, I suggest Malcolm. Malcolm Cross; Mason, Merissa, and Malcolm.

One of my own favorite M names is Milo. Milo Cross; Mason, Merissa, and Milo. Or Miles would be nice.

Another of my favorites is Miller. Miller Cross; Mason, Merissa, and Miller.

Miller reminds me of Meyer. Meyer Cross; Mason, Merissa, and Meyer.

Maxwell seems like a good brother name for Mason. Maxwell Cross; Mason, Merissa, and Maxwell.

The name Matthew is an enduring favorite. Matthew Cross; Mason, Merissa, and Matthew. Matthias would make it a little more unusual.

Or there's Merit/Merritt. Merritt Cross; Mason, Merissa, and Merritt.

But if you look through all the M names in the book and you don't find any you like, there are other ways to coordinate the sibling set. Mason and Merissa share not only an M but also an A and an S, so a name like Samuel would work very nicely. Samuel Cross; Mason, Merissa, and Samuel.

I've thought the names Mason and Sawyer would go together well: both surname names, and both tradesman names. Sawyer Cross; Mason, Merissa, and Sawyer.

Or something like Jacob: it repeats the number of letters and the vowel sounds of Mason, and J and M are close together in the alphabet. Jacob Cross; Mason, Merissa, and Jacob. (Jake Cross could sound like Jay Cross or Jake Ross, but neither is a negative/embarrassing mistake.)


Lauren said...

The statement that you want to "knock his socks off" with an M name also makes me a little upset. Do I take that to mean that if you alone (not the two of you together) do not find an M name that he deems acceptable, this child will automatically be called Jeffrey despite your stated wishes? If he were being a bit more reasonable, I might suggest giving your son the first name Jeffrey and a middle name that you love—and then calling your son by his middle name. He still wouldn't be a junior (as Swistle said, juniors and "the seconds" share full names with their namesakes), but it should appease your husband, and you would still get to come up with a name you love. It does seem to be a nice thing to share with his father and grandfather, and is something second sons don't generally get the opportunity to have. But since he's being so pushy about it, the child in me says you get to be stubborn and shoot down the name because it IS Jeffrey. That does leave the question open, though, for potential future sons.

I like all of swistle's suggestions, and would only (for now) add Simon as a possible. To me, there is a slight difference in style, but I like how it takes the "M" and the "S" from both Mason and Merissa and also Mason's "ON" and Merissa's "I".

Rayne DeVivo said...

I personally would not use Miller Cross because it brings to mind Miller's Crossing, a film about gangsters. Though that might be a plus for some folks.

Rayne DeVivo said...

I totally agree with Sawyer. I think Mason and Sawyer are perfect brother names.

StephLove said...

It sounds like you wouldn't mind another M name and he could live without a junior if you found one, so that might be a good compromise. I liked the suggestion of Malcolm. Milo made me think of Miles and Merrit brought Merrick to mind. My favorite M name for boys is Micah.

Michelle said...

Did dad have to do much bending when naming the first two? If he did, it may be a loving gesture to bend a bit for number three. If you two had equal say and agreement before, then he should meet you somewhere in the middle here, too. Maybe Jeffrey can go in the middle, since that's the name he and his dad share.

I like Malcolm and Matthias.

Anonymous said...

Hmm, I'll admit it seems a bit odd for Dad to be pushing for a namesake now-after he already has one son. Did he want a Jeffrey before but didn't get it? Or perhaps there is some specific reason why this is coming up now, on the 3rd child (death of a loved one or something like that?) If he has always wanted a Jr, then I think by now he should realize it's just not going to happen. Though, I do like the idea of Jeffrey as a middle name-seems like a reasonable compromise. If there is some other reason why this is coming up now, it would also be a nice gesture.

If you are OK with an M name and you really liked Declan-maybe another Celtic name starting with M? There aren't a ton I can think of, but I'll suggest Malachy, Murphy, Murray & Mannix.

Swistle has a good list of non-M suggestions. Is Dad open to J names? Using double J initials to mirror is own occured to me as another compromise, if you can both agree. Maybe Jeffrey or Jason could be the middle J name.

Kim said...

I think the name Mitchell would be a good choice.

Mason, Merissa and Mitchell

Mitchell Jeffrey perhaps?

Good luck!

Meg said...

I think Maxwell, Milo/Miles, and Malachy are great suggestions. How about Madden or McCauley (or another Mc name)?

Wendy said...

I also like the suggestion of Matthias.

Malcolm is my favorite.

I also wanted to add that depending on where you are located, Meyer is the name of a big box store. Didn't know that before we moved up north. It's still a lovely name though.

Anonymous said...

Milo! It has the same meaning as Jeffrey so it could be a nod to dad?

Anonymous said...

I immediately thought of Miller's Crossing too when I read Miller Cross! It's not a death sentence for the name or anything, but it's definitely a distinct association I have. I wish you could make Toby work because I think it's an adorable name. Would your husband agree on Tobin with the nickname Toby? You could agree to put Jeffrey in the middle, Tobin Jeffrey Cross is a great name. And it would always have special meaning because his siblings picked it out. If you feel committed to an M name my favourite is probably Maxwell.

Anonymous said...

Like your FIL and husband, my great grandfather and grandfather shared a first name but had different middle names. My father was given his father's middle name as a first name and his grandfather's middle name as a middle name. If you followed this pattern your son would be Jason Ralph.
But, I think Jason and Mason are too close to be brothers. In fact, I think of Mason as " the new Jason" and if I knew your family, I would assume that Mason was choosen as a way to honor his father while giving him a little individuality. I would see an additional sibling named after the same father to be boardering on overkill. But, I am tempted to suggest Jefferson. It combines Jeffrey and Jason and it goes well with Mason. In my opinion, Jefferson is a lot fresher/more stylish/appealing than Jeffrey.

Manday said...

My favorite "M" names -

My favorite of these for you is Mitchell because it has a new vowel sound and the cute nickname Mitch. Mason, Merissa, and Mitchell. Mitchell Ralph Cross.

Are you OK with an M name? If not, would your husband consider sharing initials? JJC?

Jerome Jefferson Cross. Mason, Merissa and Jerome. I feel like it ties to the other names with the M in the middle.

Amie said...

I like Maddox with an honor middle names with the sibset.

sarah said...

It's a little bit out there, but why not Moby? Toby with an M!

Anonymous said...

First name that jumped into my mind was Morgan. Morgan Jeffery Cross sounds great and it works well with the your older children Mason, Merissa and Morgan. To me your children's names sound strong and proud and confident and I fell like Morgan falls into that category too

Robin said...

Yup, never seen Miller's Crossing but knew the name immediately when I saw the suggestion of Miller. You really can't use that.

Gail said...

Tobias, Malcolm, or Milo! (or something even better the two of you dream up).

Anonymous said...

My friend named her son Macoy and calls him Mac, that seems to go along with the sibling set. Mason, Merissa and Macoy Cross.

Samantha said...

What about the name Jefferson? I think that still honors the Jefferys. It also shares common letters with the siblings and doesn't sound out of place - Mason, Merrisa and Jefferson. You could also come up with a cute nickname for him. For example, Jefferson Toby Cross, nickname Jett or Toby.

Waltzing More Than Matilda said...

I think


all sound like they could be brothers to Mason and Merissa.

Anonymous said...

I like the idea of Marshall as well!

Other "M" names: